


Scoot scoot patoot-y oh.

by oh_black_sparrow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adorable dorks, Banter, Did I Mention Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Matchmaker James Potter, Oneshot, some day at Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:01:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28714689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_black_sparrow/pseuds/oh_black_sparrow
Summary: Remus is looking forward to a day alone in his dormitory. But the solution to the mystery that Sirius' unexpected company brings is well worth throwing his plans overboard.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	Scoot scoot patoot-y oh.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bobombmobob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobombmobob/gifts).



> A gift this to bobombmobob because you are always so lovely and encouraging. I hope you like it.

It is Saturday afternoon. And whether it's storming or snowing or if there's a skull-splitting heat, Saturday afternoons mean Quidditch practice. Which in turn means that a certain bedroom in a certain dorm is absolutely and wonderfully empty. And quiet. For hours.  
Don't get Remus wrong; he loves the chaos and the noise, the jokes and the pranks - he wouldn't change it for anything – but he loves those quiet Saturday afternoons by himself.  
Right now he is a little out of breath.  
Remus had just finished a wild karaoke session, which is his little secret ritual to kick off his weekly solitude. From Sunday till Friday he carefully thinks about which record he should put on next time, only to throw all his thoughts out the window in the last moment. In the end, he blindly picks up an album, throws it on the record player with a grin and then dances across the floorboards only wearing sweatpants and socks, singing along to the lyrics.  
Very cheery and out of tune.  
The next item on Remus' agenda is to curl up in bed and read and drink tea until his roommates come stumbling back in.  
It doesn't take much to make Remus happy, he is a connoisseur of the little things.  
He has barely made it through three pages of his book when he hears rapid heavy footsteps and strange indistinct muttering coming from the staircase.  
“Please, go on, please please...” Remus whispers into the pages of his novel when the door swings open to reveal a very odd looking...  
“Sirius! You’re back. Already,” he says, trying hard not to sound too dismissive. Sirius just looks at him for a dragging moment still with that odd expression on his face and Remus realizes that he is still wearing his Quidditch kit.  
“Did something happen?” Remus asks with a frown, getting a little worried now.  
Sirius bites his lip, pulls up one eyebrow and then moves over to Remus’ bed.  
After another moment that feels like hesitation to Remus, Sirius finally opens his mouth. With an enthusiasm in his voice that does not match his facial expression he says: “Scoot scoot patoot-y oh.”  
Remus’ jaw drops a little in surprise: “Say that again?” and Sirius groans in a way that looks like frustration but sounds like delight.  
“I... Move mov-y move over, so I can come com-y come in?”  
Still without a clue about what’s going on Remus laughs but does not move mov-y move. Sirius sighs in that weird way again, pulls off his shoes and starts to climb into Remus’ four-poster, pushing him impatiently to the side to make room for himself. When he’s tucked under the duvet he rejoices again: “Prongs Prongs-y Prongerino...” he stops while rolling his eyes and Remus has an idea.  
“Oh. Prongs! Did he hex you?”  
Sirius just nods, looking thankful for not having to explain it with words.  
“What did you do to deserve this?” Remus’ asks whit a giggle.  
“It’s because becaus-y cause of something I didn’t do do dod-y do.” Sirius chirps and slaps a hand to his forehead. Remus almost feels guilty but he can’t suppress the laughter. “What does that mean?” he asks but Sirius just shakes his head and crosses his arms in front of his chest, pouting and with flushed cheeks.  
“So, you dropping Quidditch today must mean that James doesn't want to lift the hex?"  
Sirius shakes his head and Remus eyes widen a little: “He can’t lift it?”  
“Something ing ing-y ing in between een-y een.”  
“Is you being cryptic part of the hex?” Remus mocks him and pokes an elbow to his side.  
“I’m not nott-y not ott ott...” he belts out in a solemn manner and stops the nonsense by pressing a hand over his mouth.  
“Alright then,” Remus says, puts his book away and turns to face Sirius, “what can I do for you? Shall I accompany you to the hospital wing, let Madam P have a look at it?”  
Sirius shakes his head once again.  
“You don’t want me to fix it, right? I’m not sure if that would be a good idea...”  
Sirius just shakes his head, but at least he looks up to Remus now. Something lingers there, beneath the annoyance. Is he nervous?  
“What do you want then?”  
“Just...” he stops a moment, pinching his eyes shut, “hide hide-y hide out in here with you you-y-you until it... wears off.” They both look surprised by how easy the last part came out. But Sirius still sounds like the most cheerful person on the planet and Remus has to giggle again. He makes a mental note to congratulate James for that masterpiece of a hex later.  
“Oh, sure. You’re lucky that it is my day off today,” he grins, “what do you want to do?”  
“Something without without-y-out talking ing ing, oh.”  
“I thought so. I could read to you?”  
Sirius cheeks grow red again and he looks somewhat flustered but he still shakes his head. “No-y-no.”  
“Fancy a game of chess then?”  
“No no no-y-no...” he almost humms.  
“What can you think of that doesn't require speaking?” Remus sighs and this time Sirius' answer comes immediately: “Kiss kiss-y-kiss kiss kiss?!”  
“What the fucket-y-fuck?” Remus blurts out in surprise. He’s not sure if he got that right.  
Sirius looks determined and terrified at the same time.  
“I would would-y-would ask you for a date-date-y-date first but... talking ing ing-y-ing... hard.”  
Remus' jaw had dropped somewhere to the first floor of the castle, but suddenly the pained expression has disappeared from Sirius' face and given way to something suave. It’s the way his face gets when he is flirting. Remus knows that face very well. He had spent the last nine months staring at it discreetly and not so discreetly whenever he's had the chance.  
Nevertheless, he’s in shock. Unable to move or speak.  
“Despite spit-y-spite... What else could could-y-could we do on a date-y-date date that we we we-y-ee don't already do do do-y-do all the time tim-y-time?”  
Sirius smiles.  
Remus gasps.  
Sirius tilts his head to the left.  
Remus blinks. Once. Twice.  
And then he throws himself at Sirius.  
The way their lips meet is hard and anything but tender und the momentum of Remus’ movement causes Sirius' head to hit the headboard with a muffled 'thump'. Remus’ pulls back, slouched and weirdly twisted over the mattress, his arms wrapped around Sirius' neck.  
“I’m sorry, did that hurt?”  
“Don’t care-y-care. Don’t stop.” Sirius moans out gleefully and this time, Remus closes the distance between them carefully.  
This time it is gentle and slow and Remus can't believe what is happening and how it happened. The satisfied hum that slips out of Sirius' mouth leaves a tingling sensation on Remus' lips, similar to the feeling of Sirius' fingertips gently caressing the skin of his neck and his cheek. Sirius tongue slides over Remus’ bottom lip, warm and wet and soon they flow together in urgent open mouthed kisses.  
They kiss and kiss and kiss some more and there is no talking. But there is a bit of giggling and nibbling on lips and necks and ears and jawbones. There are deep looks and tangled limbs and Sirius silky hair between Remus long fingers while he combs trough strands of ebony again and again and again and...  
Footsteps out in the staircase.  
Sirius pulls back from Remus, slides his thumb over a flushed cheekbone with a grin and then sits up straight in the bed right as the door opens and James spills in.  
James looks around until he locates his friends in the four poster bed.  
A slick smile creeps over his face as he and Sirius stare at each other.  
“I hate you,” Sirius says casually.  
“Oh?” James mouths, “You hate me? You don’t mean you hate-y-hate me?”  
“No, I’m absolutely sure that I just hate you.” Sirius says, and even thought the strange enthusiasm is gone from his voice now, his tone doesn’t quite match his words. There is a smirk in his voice.  
James nods, “I can live with that,” and then he flings himself into his own bed.  
“So, the hex has worn off?” Remus asks confused.  
“Yes, Moony. Good job. Well done.” James giggles.  
“Me? What have I...?”  
James sits back up “Let’s say, the hex was meant to... motivate Sirius to finally take his love-drunken babbling to the right person. Peter and I really couldn't hear it any more. And since he can speak like a big boy again, I can tell that the plan went well.”  
“Wha...” Remus starts to say, eyes wide.  
“Out, James!” Sirius cackles.  
“Alright, alright.” James stands up, his upturned hands over his head in surrender. “I thought you might want the room tonight.” And then he slips out of the door, just before a pillow strikes the wall next to the door frame.  
  
  



End file.
